Gadgets - Boon or Bane(nice article from Times)

TILL GADGET DO US PART

Do your friends and family members crib about your being constantly hooked to your blackberry and laptop? You may be headed towards a tumultuous relationship, says Lisa Mary Thomson

THERE’S an anecdote about a middle-aged professional who sat his son down to break the bitter news that he and wife were going through a divorce. After a few minutes of explaining the details to his son, the father was left dumbfounded when the young man perked up “This is the first time Dad you’re actually talking and listening to me, without your phone or your laptop in tow.”
While it may not be exactly be a punishable offence to check e-mails via the phone or to spend some time after dinner finishing work on a laptop, it’s a visible addiction that professionals in India are fast falling prey to. Ergo, the men and women fidgeting with their phones, answering emails or taking calls - be it in a social gathering like a wedding or under the table during a private dinner. While being wired to the office on a 24/7 basis may bring the next promotion closer, it’s often at the cost of family and relationships.
Ask any psychologist or corporate counselor and they’d probably point out the increase in the number of those whose obsession with their black-beauties has led to ugly confrontations. In the rare occasion, even divorce. According to Monica Chib, senior consultant psychiatrist at the Indraprastha Apollo Hospital, technologically charged couples have far less time for each other which has definitely had an impact on closeness and physical intimacy. Most often, because they are just too tired at the end of a long day to cater to the needs of a partner.
The problem is even more acute in the case of those who work in firms where the parent company or clients are overseas. It isn’t uncommon for employees to return home and then shut themselves in a room for hours to attend to conference calls. “These conference calls are often at “overseas office hours” which means that they will have to attend to it in their personal time. This has a negative impact on family life and members are beginning to drift apart,” points out Ranjana Rawat, regional manager-north of 1to1help.net which offers counseling and employee assistance programmes to organizations.
While children who grow up in such families tend to be extremely independent, experts feel that they lack bonding skills and find it difficult to develop a level of closeness with people. In extreme cases, they have made unsuitable alliances in the attempt to find some affection.
However, for a larger number of young families where both spouses lead extremely high powered lives, partners have come to the terms with the fact that their marriage is simply a convenient arrangement. “So while neither may be able to spare each other time for months on end, it’s convenient to have a husband or a wife who they can take to a social do,” says Dr. Chib. Those who work in sectors with long work hours face the added challenge of having to explain their closeness with colleagues to spouses who feel threatened by the level of intimacy. Experts feel that this insecurity has broken up many a marriage.
But if the men have come to terms easily with working long hours or into the night, for the women, it’s often meant dealing with a sack-load of frustration and guilt. On one hand, they feel that if their jobs that require putting in extra-hours, their spouses should understand it and if necessary, just call for home-delivery for dinner. On the other hand, there is also the guilt associated with the fact that they are letting their family down.
Human resource experts, though, believe that it’s more a question of discipline given that devices like laptops and Blackberry’s have given employees a great deal of flexibility. Says Surbhi Mathur Gandhi, general manager, permanent staffing at TeamLease services, “While handing over a device like a laptop or a Blackberry comes with the expectation that the individual will be available for any situation, optimal utilization is the prerogative of the individual.”
Though company culture and the demands of customers account for some amount of an employee’s addiction to devices, Pramod Sadarjoshi, executive director of human resources at IDBI Bank feel that individuals always have the option of declaring themselves off-limits without having to face recrimination by their employers. Sadarjoshi feels that as long as an individual has a genuine reason and has a credible reputation; it isn’t difficult to negotiate for some time off. He even insists that employees of the bank compulsorily take a few days off to rejuvenate and spend some time with their families.
Bangalore-based Anand Halankar, who was young Blackberry user, when he worked for an organization in Dubai, feels that an individual always has the option of replying to e-mails only if they are urgent. While the tendency is generally to respond to at least some mails to prevent them from piling up, Halankar says that in the two and a half years that he used it, it never affected his personal life. He adds that more people in India tend to work after work hours in comparison with Dubai where people took their after work time and holidays very seriously.
Closer home too, both individuals and corporates have increasingly begun touting the need for work-life balance as a priority issue. Infosys, for instance, has a Health Assessment and Life Enrichment (HALE) plan with a hotline aimed at helping individuals balance their professional lives with the personal. Other companies have chosen to have flexi-time or work-from-home options, childcare facilities at the workplace, concierge services for employees, periodic social gettogethers and so on. Employees too seem to be placing more value on companies which allow them to strike the balances. Anuradha Oza, senior associate of the human capital team at the consultancy Mercer feels that while remuneration is a key factor, work-life balance has also become a primary driver influencing people in favour of certain jobs. In fact, Oza recollects a time in the US when Blackberry addicts were referred to as ‘Crackberry’ addicts.
The bottomline, however, seems to be the need for individual discipline with technology and the attempt ‘to be present entirely when you are present’. Frenny Bawa, VP-India of Research In Motion which offers the Blackberry smartphones, can vouch for this. In her view, her much-maligned product allows people to drive greater productivity out of their time. For Frenny herself, who had begun to visit the office on a Sunday night to deal with the barrage of mail that would be awaiting her on a Monday morning, her Blackberry has been as a great way to get ahead of the curve without being chained to her desk. So after all, this may just be a question of personal choice.
lisa.thomson@timesgroup.com

Zen Habits - Nice Article from V.Shakthi(@v_shakthi)

Zen Habits

Simple Productivity

How Not to Hurry

Slow down and enjoy life.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~ Lao Tzu

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Consider the above quote from Lao Tzu, (perhaps mythical) father of Taoism: how can it be true?

Is it possible to never hurry, but to get everything done?

It seems contradictory to our modern world, where everything is a rush, where we try to cram as much into every minute of the day as possible, where if we are not busy, we feel unproductive and lazy.

In fact, often we compete by trying to show how busy we are. I have a thousand projects to do! Oh yeah? I have 10,000! The winner is the person who has the most insane schedule, who rushes from one thing to the next with the energy of a hummingbird, because obviously that means he’s the most successful and important.

Right?

Maybe not. Maybe we’re playing the wrong game — we’ve been conditioned to believe that busier is better, but actually the speed of doing is not as important as what we focus on doing.

Maybe we’re going at the wrong speed. Maybe if we are constantly rushing, we will miss out on life itself. Let’s let go of the obsession with speed, and instead slow down, stop rushing, and enjoy life.

And still get everything done.

Let’s look at how.

A Change of Mindset
The most important step is a realization that life is better when you move at a slower, more relaxed pace, instead of hurrying and rushing and trying to cram too much into every day. Instead, get the most out of every moment.

Is a book better if you speed read it, or if you take your time and get lost in it?

Is a song better if you skim through it, or if you take the time to really listen?

Is food better if you cram it down your throat, or if you savor every bite and really appreciate the flavor?

Is your work better if you’re trying to do 10 things at once, or if you really pour yourself into one important task?

Is your time spent with a friend or loved one better if you have a rushed meeting interrupted by your emails and text messages, or if you can relax and really focus on the person?

Life as a whole is better if you go slowly, and take the time to savor it, appreciate every moment. That’s the simplest reason to slow down.

And so, you’ll need to change your mindset (if you’ve been stuck in a rushed mindset until now). To do this, make the simple admission that life is better when savored, that work is better with focus. Then make the commitment to give that a try, to take some of the steps below.

But I Can’t Change!
There will be some among you who will admit that it would be nice to slow down, but you just can’t do it … your job won’t allow it, or you’ll lose income if you don’t do as many projects, or living in the city makes it too difficult to go slowly. It’s a nice ideal if you’re living on a tropical island, or out in the country, or if you have a job that allows control of your schedule … but it’s not realistic for your life.

I say bullshit.

Take responsibility for your life. If your job forces you to rush, take control of it. Make changes in what you do, in how you work. Work with your boss to make changes if necessary. And if really necessary, you can eventually change jobs. You are responsible for your life.

If you live in a city where everyone rushes, realize that you don’t have to be like everyone else. You can be different. You can walk instead of driving in rush hour traffic. You can have fewer meetings. You can work on fewer but more important things. You can be on your iPhone or Blackberry less, and be disconnected sometimes. Your environment doesn’t control your life — you do.

I’m not going to tell you how to take responsibility for your life, but once you make the decision, thehow will become apparent over time.

Tips for a Slower-Paced Life
I can’t give you a step-by-step guide to moving slower, but here are some things to consider and perhaps adopt, if they work for your life. Some things might require you to change some major things, but they can be done over time.

1. Do less. Cut back on your projects, on your task list, on how much you try to do each day. Focus not on quantity but quality. Pick 2-3 important things — or even just one important thing — and work on those first. Save smaller, routine tasks for later in the day, but give yourself time to focus. Read more.
2. Have fewer meetings. Meetings are usually a big waste of time. And they eat into your day, forcing you to squeeze the things you really need to do into small windows, and making you rush. Try to have blocks of time with no interruptions, so you don’t have to rush from one meeting to another.
3. Practice disconnecting. Have times when you turn off your devices and your email notifications and whatnot. Time with no phone calls, when you’re just creating, or when you’re just spending time with someone, or just reading a book, or just taking a walk, or just eating mindfully. You can even disconnect for (gasp!) an entire day, and you won’t be hurt. I promise.
4. Give yourself time to get ready and get there. If you’re constantly rushing to appointments or other places you have to be, it’s because you don’t allot enough time in your schedule for preparing and for traveling. Pad your schedule to allow time for this stuff. If you think it only takes you 10 minutes to get ready for work or a date, perhaps give yourself 30-45 minutes so you don’t have to shave in a rush or put on makeup in the car. If you think you can get there in 10 minutes, perhaps give yourself 2-3 times that amount so you can go at a leisurely pace and maybe even get there early.
5. Practice being comfortable with sitting, doing nothing. One thing I’ve noticed is that when people have to wait, they become impatient or uncomfortable. They want their mobile device or at least a magazine, because standing and waiting is either a waste of time or something they’re not used to doing without feeling self-conscious. Instead, try just sitting there, looking around, soaking in your surroundings. Try standing in line and just watching and listening to people around you. It takes practice, but after awhile, you’ll do it with a smile.
6. Realize that if it doesn’t get done, that’s OK. There’s always tomorrow. And yes, I know that’s a frustrating attitude for some of you who don’t like laziness or procrastination or living without firm deadlines, but it’s also reality. The world likely won’t end if you don’t get that task done today. Your boss might get mad, but the company won’t collapse and the life will inevitably go on. And the things that need to get done will.
7. Start to eliminate the unnecessary. When you do the important things with focus, without rush, there will be things that get pushed back, that don’t get done. And you need to ask yourself: how necessary are these things? What would happen if I stopped doing them? How can I eliminate them, delegate them, automate them?
8. Practice mindfulness. Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you’re with someone, be with them fully. When you’re walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are.Read this for more, and also try The Mindfulist.
9. Slowly eliminate commitments. We’re overcommitted, which is why we’re rushing around so much. I don’t just mean with work — projects and meetings and the like. Parents have tons of things to do with and for their kids, and we overcommit our kids as well. Many of us have busy social lives, or civic commitments, or are coaching or playing on sports teams. We have classes and groups and hobbies. But in trying to cram so much into our lives, we’re actually deteriorating the quality of those lives. Slowly eliminate commitments — pick 4-5 essential ones, and realize that the rest, while nice or important, just don’t fit right now. Politely inform people, over time, that you don’t have time to stick to those commitments.

Try these things out. Life is better when unrushed. And given the fleeting nature of this life, why waste even a moment by rushing through it?

Remember the quote above: if nature can get everything done without rushing, so can you.