Multi-tasking is not good all the times

O-zone One thing at a time Studies show that multitasking is overrated. Instead, you can be highly effective by learning how to focus on being a serial tasker Vinita Dawra Nangia  TIMES NEWS NETWORK      HOW can anyone focus on any one thing in today’s world? It seems near impossible, and yet people must be doing so, or there would be no success stories anymore! A lot has been said in praise of multitasking, but the truth is that the world’s most successful people have never been multitaskers; they are people who have concentrated on their work and goals with intense passion and deadly focus. Do you think Sachin Tendulkar could have made his centuries if he had not had single-minded focus? Could successful industrialists make their billions if they had been busy multitasking? Would great authors manage their magnum opuses doing several things at a time?      The mantra of successful people has always been ‘focus’. One thing at a time, as our elders taught us. And now science backs this intuitive wisdom. Neuroscientists have found that the human brain isn’t equipped to efficiently perform more than one task at a time. Says Dr Rene Marois, associate professor at Vanderbilt University, Tennessee, US, “People always address problems one at a time, though they may do it so fast, it feels like multitasking! What we are actually doing while multitasking is forcing the brain to switch from one task to another, which naturally results in loss of focus, time and energy.” Comparative brain scan studies show that multitasking slows down our reaction time, resulting in more accidents, less efficiency and socially-unfriendly behaviour.      The human brain is biologically wired to pay attention to new stimuli — be it an unopened email, a new tweet, a response on Facebook, a phone call, or even a car passing by as we sit working in front of the window. It comes naturally to us to lose focus on the activity at hand and be distracted by anything new. Experts say that when we multitask, we are actually just giving ourselves “a fix”, because any new stimulation releases the feel-good neurochemical dopamine, which gives us a natural addictive kick. And so, in the middle of writing an article, I will be tempted to check the new mail that dropped into my mailbox, or go back to the article I left open on another window, or be distracted by the new book that sits waiting on my table. While cooking, I will talk on the phone or answer an SMS.      In order to be effective, we need to fight, rather than feed this proclivity to be seduced by the new. One by one, is the real mantra. Be a serial tasker, rather than a multitasker. Like with anything useful, developing focus too needs commitment and practice.  • Prioritise tasks  • Build focus by setting aside exclusive time to deal with challenging tasks  • In that space of time, turn off the TV, log out of your email, shut down multiple windows on your computer and switch off your phone. Let people know you are busy and do not want to be disturbed.  • Try and understand your most and least productive periods. Some work best early morning, while others work better later in the day or late at night. Slot important tasks for your natural peak period.  • Do not allow your mind to wander; rein it in consciously and strictly to focus on the task at hand.  • Meditation is a great tool in building focus. Keeping the body still too helps.  • Do not stress your brain by carrying too many mental notes; put them down on paper or store them digitally. Check them once in a while.  • Take breaks when your mind begins to wander; keep your mind challenged with new interests and hobbies in your spare time.  • Your less productive time period should be used to check and answer emails and to engage in social networking.  • You need not read and respond to every SMS immediately. Effective people set time aside once a day for this task. The opinions expressed in this column are the personal views of the writer It’s Your Life — Best of O-zone by Vinita Dawra Nangia. Available at leading bookstores and shopping.indiatimes.com. Or call 8010058888/8010558888. for doorstep delivery

You are perfectly imperfect! - Vinita Dawra Nangia

To achieve perfection is not to be rigid and obsessive, but to let go and be yourself



YOU are perfectly average, quips the happy-go-lucky Kareena Kapoor to the uptight Imran Khan in Ek Main aur Ekk Tu. Understandably, he doesn’t known how to respond! To be average is anathema, but to be perfect at anything is considered wonderful — even if it is perfection at being average!
Cut to Black Swan, a movie I recently saw again on TV. Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman), a ballerina competing for the lead role in Swan Lake, is found unsuitable for the dark role. She is too “frigid” and “perfect” in her performance. The director, Thomas Leroy advises her to stop being a perfectionist and to lose herself in her role, preferring passion over flawless technique. “Perfection is not just about control,” he says. “It is also about letting go…”
We tend to look at perfection as achieving a ten on ten, doing something so well that it couldn’t be bettered! Such perfection spells the end of endeavour, of dreams, of aspiration. If in your mind you are perfect, the rest of life can at best be spent in maintaining and nurturing this perfection — that flawless skin, the perfect figure, the perfect score, that inimitable performance, a perfect musical rhythm or that perfect moment in time. Anything less would be disappointing.
Why does perfection need to be a punishing routine, leading to obsessive, rigid behaviour? Why should it rely heavily on judgement, and exclude normal life? Obviously, it isn’t meant to be a human trait. Human beings are designed to have flaws; perfection is meant for the Gods.
The quest for perfection actually is a search for certainty, for a sense of control. Anything that stays within specified limits is under our control. The moment shapes shift and take on a life of their own, we lose control and hence, power. We force ourselves to conform to set practices and standards to the extent we forget our true selves in the quest to be “perfect.” Here then is a new look at perfection. Let’s call it the perfectly imperfect! Perfectly normal. A letting go of rigidity, of fastidiousness, the obsession of being the best. To achieve perfection is not to be obsessive and punishing; it is a letting go and allowing natural flaws to be as they are. It is perfectly fine to be perfectly average! Imperfection is fluid, perfection is cast in stone. Progress requires imperfection. Cultures around the world have embraced the concept of the perfect imperfect, often introducing deliberate flaws in works of art, either for religious or aesthetic reasons. The world famous Amish quilt makers deliberately leave an imperfection in their quilts because God alone can be perfect. Turkish shipbuilders and carpet weavers reportedly do the same to remind themselves that perfection is the sole prerogative of Allah. One of the central principles of Islamic art is not to compete with God for perfection.
Great sculptors in India always deliberately left a flaw in the statues they carved — controlled imperfection. If a sculptor was making a Nataraja, for example, and it was too near perfection, he would introduce a flaw, mostly breaking a toe or introducing a mark that spoilt the perfection a bit. This was true of all arts. In one sense, it is believed that all that the Mother Goddess creates is perfect, but pure perfection can only be She herself.
Every Persian carpet included a God’s knot to indicate the weaver wasn’t even attempting perfection. Navajo rug weavers believe that the slight imperfection allows a route to creativity.
The Japanese principle of wabisabi is well known — beauty that is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. Asymmetry and irregularity are deliberately introduced by the Japanese as a necessary ingredient of art. Zen potters deliberately leave glaze drips on pots as “controlled” imperfections to reinforce that “perfect is boring.”
Nina in Swan Lake, when in complete touch with her dark side and no longer the rigid innocent, gives a sterling performance, after which she says, “I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.”

Why You Have To Put Yourself First

March 8th, 2010 by Armen Shirvanian(pickthebrain.com)


The most important person behind each of your decisions has to be yourself. Your health and attitude are what give you the ability to perceive everything else around you. Often times, we initially make our decisions based on how someone else will react, or how fitting the decisions are to society’s standards, but society would not be visually available if you couldn’t see it, or audible if you couldn’t hear it.
This is a reminder to put yourself first in a big way. Although it may be a big way compared to what you were doing before, it is probably not big enough compared to how relevant your presence is in the world.
Conversation Example

With all the hesitation that you may face when going up to someone in a public setting, conference, or party, most of that hesitation doesn’t take into account that, if it was not for your senses and perception, the person would not be there for you to make conversation with. You’re a puzzle piece in the interaction just as much as they are a puzzle piece in the interaction. When we assume that our presence is not meant as part of an event, we lose the majority of our socializing energy, and get stuck in a mental circular loop of doubt or questioning.
I might have written this article, but as you read it, all the marbles are on your side of the table. If you close your eyes, my text is not there(except in visual or verbal memory), and the only person that is left will be you and your thoughts. You have to keep this in mind when making decisions. After various interactions or questions with others, the point that you always return to is home base in your own mind. This constant reminder gets you to toss away any debilitating thoughts of how people will react, which I know have cut off my actions an immeasurable amount of times.
Two Thought Patterns

Here are the two patterns I routinely see us take, if I had to bifurcate(split) them into a common type and a successful type:
Common Type
Have a thought
Doubts come into the mind about how others will perceive it
Worry and fear comes from each option related to that thought
Disappointment comes from not even being able to carry out one idea
The result is nearly no action, and a bit of frustration
Successful Type
Have a thought or idea
Have a doubting thought about it, or how people will perceive it
Crush the doubt in the mind, based on the idea that you also have a say in how the world works
Keep crushing any doubts while implementing the idea
See the gains from taking action, and end up without that frustration from not putting yourself first
As you can see, the common way to act gets you almost no output, and also gets you frustration or disappointment, so it is a lose-lose scenario, regardless of the first intent to not let others down. Now, looking at the successful way to act, you can see that it might look rude during the process, in that it doesn’t seem to include much concern about others. However, the result is real action and productivity, lack of disappointment because the process was completed smoothly, and lastly, a result for others that is more beneficial to them than the intent the average type of person would have during the entire time. This case is a win-win scenario. Don’t let that “intent to be proper or not offend” be what constantly leaves you with no end product.
Discard Any Hindrance From Family And Friends

I also have to add in this section about how your family affects you. For those of you who constantly limit yourself due to your family, and don’t want to disappoint those closest to yourself, realize again that you are “numero uno” in that context as well. Family provides larger internal pressure than friends or colleagues, but you have to take this pressure and use it to create more for yourself. Doing something just to impress a family member will leave them wondering if you have your own foundation of goals and intent.

Put yourself first in a big way, because this whole world is only there because you can see it and hear it and feel it.

Indian Retail: Changing Trends in 2010

Nice Article from Times
Indian Retail in 2010 faces a simple challenge, how to grow, and do so at a fast pace. Kamlesh Pandya speaks to a cross section of retail personalities


Given the challenging economic scenario in the previous year, Indian Retail has swung across extremes. “We have seen the retail graph hit the highs and the lows, owing to the volatile economic conditions,” says Dharmesh Jain, CMD, Nirmal Lifestyle.
“The beginning of 2009 witnessed a few retailers expanding their formats and geographic reach, consolidating their businesses and operating through wafer thin margins to sustain themselves. But, 2010 is a new beginning and I expect it will see a different perspective,” he adds.
Retailers cannot influence macro economic fundamentals, but they can influence spend behaviour at a given retail chain and/ or store, says Susil Dungarwal of advisory firm Beyond Square Feet. “In the present sort of economic climate, marketing spends are reduced and therefore it is critical that funds allocated to marketing are spent optimally.”
The Golden Adage in Retail is that 80 per cent of profits are from 20 per cent of the customers, says Dungarwal. Therefore, it is critical to focus on the core customer base of the business. If one lakh is the marketing budget, the same needs to be focused on a customer base of a lakh, then the marketing efficacy is Re. 1 per customer. Alternatively, if the core customer base is just 20,000 then the marketing efficacy is Rs. 5 per customer. So, strategically, it is important to identify the core customer base of the business. This helps reduce customer acquisition as well as customer retention costs and at the same time, makes the spending more efficient. This is the entire basis of precision marketing, the ‘new age benefactor’ for retail marketers,” he adds.
The retail setup in India is very different from what is available globally. The mindset of an Indian consumer is very different from that of Singapore or Dubai and the retail infrastructure needs to develop itself in tune with local needs and sensibilities, says Alok Dubey - VP & Brand Head, Arvind Brands. “It is imperative to provide that choice of spectrum to the consumer instead of just air-conditioned large spaces with window of the world which is a likely zone for an occasional flirting for the consumer but not necessarily a comfortable shopping space of their own. “Businesses need to move away from ‘lowest price leader’, mass marketing and mass acquisition tactics and instead focus on profitable and sustainable 77 growth, says Kumar Rajagopalan, CEO, Retailers Association of India. “Retail businesses need to focus nurturing a core customer base that is profitable to the company. Successful retailers generate majority of their profits from this core base,” he adds. In 2010, he expects retail businesses to focus on continuous innovation in terms of store formats, marketing tactics to product offerings. It is critical that there is a strong focus in this area as the Indian market is still an emerging one,” he adds. "Mr. B K Soni of Ecoreco says a retail approach works best, even when it comes to the ewaste recycling business. The retail approach provides an organised manner of reaching out to our target audience, and it has been a success," he points out. "For India, retail is a 'natural' success story," he adds.
There are many examples of retailers across the world creating exceptional retail brands by adopting practices that create exceptional retail experience, says Kumar Rajagopalan. “Back home, the traditional retailers have always adopted techniques like customer recognition, home delivery and credits to create customer experience. In 2010, India’s modern retailers should take retailing to the next level by adopting either a customer experience strategy or a clear price strategy.”

The power of controversy - Nice one from Times

XTRA ORDINARY ISSUE

The power of controversy

Pritish Nandy

Many of us knew of Arthur Andersen, the global consulting firm. But when it broke up and morphed into Accenture, not many made the exact connection. The connection was made on that fateful day when the media decided to out Tiger Woods for his sexual transgressions. Suddenly, all the brands he had endorsed, from Accenture to Nike, made it to the headlines of every newspaper, with eager readers panting to find out who would drop him first. A golfer worth a billion dollars is not the world’s most loved person, however much he may be admired. But this column’s not about celebrity hunting. It’s about controversy. The power of controversy.
Nothing builds a brand quicker than controversy. The uglier the controversy, the more profitable its outcome. You can ask me why this happens in a world where we are always taught to sidestep trouble, walk the straight and narrow. The reasons simple: Controversy polarises opinion. When public opinions polarised on any issue, be it Tiger Woods or MNIK, Raj Thackeray or Mayavati, Husain or Bt Brinjal, it immediately grabs headlines. You can’t help but notice it. In fact, everyone notices it and then, thanks to the Net, everyone reads up everything on it. No amount of paid publicity can ever achieve the phenomenal reach controversy delivers. A broken theatre and a few torn hoardings can give an unbearably boring film screaming front page coverage for days on end, and fans a righteous cause to fight for. Yes, it was the Sena that made MNIK such a success. There was little buzz about its promotions till Saamna attacked it and SRK cleverly turned the tables on them.
This brings me to the smart art of conflict management. Take an issue, any issue. Instead of spending a fortune on putting out your point of view, it’s much easier to design an emotionally charged controversy around it so that people can take extreme positions. Make it a clear love/hate choice and, before you know it, everyone’s on one side or the other. The commercial objectives will be instantly realised. Funnily, no controversy ever goes to waste. The worms in Cadbury chocolates led to Amitabh Bachchan being brought in to repair the brand’s image. He not only repaired the image but brought the brand back into business, stronger.
Every time consumer activists attack soft drinks, they sell more, almost as if by consumer defiance. The more we rant about transfats, the more people flock to fast food counters. It’s not only the young who refuse to have health concerns forced down their throat; everyone resents being told what not to do. Any pressure exerted, be it not to see MNIK or not to drink Coke or not to eat a burger at McDonald’s only helps increase their sales. Word of mouth, an old aphorism we used in the context of movies that people saw, liked and spread the word about, no longer works. People want to make their own choice these days. A tiny movie called Thanks Maa has got rave reviews this week. Will they sell one extra ticket? Unlikely. Will the film be around in theatres long enough to reap the benefit of word of mouth publicity? Unlikely. Quality and saleability walk on divergent tracks these days.
Actually good, clean entertainment is no longer in great demand. Good, healthy, nourishing food hasn’t even taken off. Brain-dead cinema rules. So does wicked food. The moment you talk about wholesomeness, you drive away consumers. Good is confused with bland. It works on the same principle that Sarat Chandra (author of Devdas and Parineeta) once espoused, that the more you denigrate a woman, the more you call her immoral, the more attractive she appears to everyone else. Simple question: Would you rather spend an hour with Mother Teresa, listening to her homilies, or with Angelina Jolie risking your perfect marriage?
So let’s not kid ourselves. If you have something to sell, go make such a huge controversy around it that the world stops dead in its tracks. Husain’s fortunes were flagging when the saffronites went for him. Tyeb, Souza, Gaitonde, even young Subodh Gupta had hijacked his best-selling tag. Auction after auction saw Husain’s prices tanking. Now, post this silly controversy, he’s back — right on top. Raj Thackeray followed the same strategy in politics, instigating one controversy after another, to ensure that he created a space for himself in Maharashtra politics. It’s not a unique strategy. Balasaheb Thackeray, Mayavati, Jayalalithaa, Mamta Banerjee, and even Sonia Gandhi used every controversy to further their political cause. Each controversy helped consolidate their presence in politics, enhanced their play. Just as Sanjay Dutt became a bigger star after Khalnayak and his stint in jail. Salman has hit a purple patch with every controversy. Saif even got a Padma Shri for riling the Bishnois.
It all goes to prove the point: If success is what you seek, go get yourself a controversy. Or else, consign your dreams to oblivion.

Gadgets - Boon or Bane(nice article from Times)

TILL GADGET DO US PART

Do your friends and family members crib about your being constantly hooked to your blackberry and laptop? You may be headed towards a tumultuous relationship, says Lisa Mary Thomson

THERE’S an anecdote about a middle-aged professional who sat his son down to break the bitter news that he and wife were going through a divorce. After a few minutes of explaining the details to his son, the father was left dumbfounded when the young man perked up “This is the first time Dad you’re actually talking and listening to me, without your phone or your laptop in tow.”
While it may not be exactly be a punishable offence to check e-mails via the phone or to spend some time after dinner finishing work on a laptop, it’s a visible addiction that professionals in India are fast falling prey to. Ergo, the men and women fidgeting with their phones, answering emails or taking calls - be it in a social gathering like a wedding or under the table during a private dinner. While being wired to the office on a 24/7 basis may bring the next promotion closer, it’s often at the cost of family and relationships.
Ask any psychologist or corporate counselor and they’d probably point out the increase in the number of those whose obsession with their black-beauties has led to ugly confrontations. In the rare occasion, even divorce. According to Monica Chib, senior consultant psychiatrist at the Indraprastha Apollo Hospital, technologically charged couples have far less time for each other which has definitely had an impact on closeness and physical intimacy. Most often, because they are just too tired at the end of a long day to cater to the needs of a partner.
The problem is even more acute in the case of those who work in firms where the parent company or clients are overseas. It isn’t uncommon for employees to return home and then shut themselves in a room for hours to attend to conference calls. “These conference calls are often at “overseas office hours” which means that they will have to attend to it in their personal time. This has a negative impact on family life and members are beginning to drift apart,” points out Ranjana Rawat, regional manager-north of 1to1help.net which offers counseling and employee assistance programmes to organizations.
While children who grow up in such families tend to be extremely independent, experts feel that they lack bonding skills and find it difficult to develop a level of closeness with people. In extreme cases, they have made unsuitable alliances in the attempt to find some affection.
However, for a larger number of young families where both spouses lead extremely high powered lives, partners have come to the terms with the fact that their marriage is simply a convenient arrangement. “So while neither may be able to spare each other time for months on end, it’s convenient to have a husband or a wife who they can take to a social do,” says Dr. Chib. Those who work in sectors with long work hours face the added challenge of having to explain their closeness with colleagues to spouses who feel threatened by the level of intimacy. Experts feel that this insecurity has broken up many a marriage.
But if the men have come to terms easily with working long hours or into the night, for the women, it’s often meant dealing with a sack-load of frustration and guilt. On one hand, they feel that if their jobs that require putting in extra-hours, their spouses should understand it and if necessary, just call for home-delivery for dinner. On the other hand, there is also the guilt associated with the fact that they are letting their family down.
Human resource experts, though, believe that it’s more a question of discipline given that devices like laptops and Blackberry’s have given employees a great deal of flexibility. Says Surbhi Mathur Gandhi, general manager, permanent staffing at TeamLease services, “While handing over a device like a laptop or a Blackberry comes with the expectation that the individual will be available for any situation, optimal utilization is the prerogative of the individual.”
Though company culture and the demands of customers account for some amount of an employee’s addiction to devices, Pramod Sadarjoshi, executive director of human resources at IDBI Bank feel that individuals always have the option of declaring themselves off-limits without having to face recrimination by their employers. Sadarjoshi feels that as long as an individual has a genuine reason and has a credible reputation; it isn’t difficult to negotiate for some time off. He even insists that employees of the bank compulsorily take a few days off to rejuvenate and spend some time with their families.
Bangalore-based Anand Halankar, who was young Blackberry user, when he worked for an organization in Dubai, feels that an individual always has the option of replying to e-mails only if they are urgent. While the tendency is generally to respond to at least some mails to prevent them from piling up, Halankar says that in the two and a half years that he used it, it never affected his personal life. He adds that more people in India tend to work after work hours in comparison with Dubai where people took their after work time and holidays very seriously.
Closer home too, both individuals and corporates have increasingly begun touting the need for work-life balance as a priority issue. Infosys, for instance, has a Health Assessment and Life Enrichment (HALE) plan with a hotline aimed at helping individuals balance their professional lives with the personal. Other companies have chosen to have flexi-time or work-from-home options, childcare facilities at the workplace, concierge services for employees, periodic social gettogethers and so on. Employees too seem to be placing more value on companies which allow them to strike the balances. Anuradha Oza, senior associate of the human capital team at the consultancy Mercer feels that while remuneration is a key factor, work-life balance has also become a primary driver influencing people in favour of certain jobs. In fact, Oza recollects a time in the US when Blackberry addicts were referred to as ‘Crackberry’ addicts.
The bottomline, however, seems to be the need for individual discipline with technology and the attempt ‘to be present entirely when you are present’. Frenny Bawa, VP-India of Research In Motion which offers the Blackberry smartphones, can vouch for this. In her view, her much-maligned product allows people to drive greater productivity out of their time. For Frenny herself, who had begun to visit the office on a Sunday night to deal with the barrage of mail that would be awaiting her on a Monday morning, her Blackberry has been as a great way to get ahead of the curve without being chained to her desk. So after all, this may just be a question of personal choice.
lisa.thomson@timesgroup.com

Zen Habits - Nice Article from V.Shakthi(@v_shakthi)

Zen Habits

Simple Productivity

How Not to Hurry

Slow down and enjoy life.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~ Lao Tzu

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Consider the above quote from Lao Tzu, (perhaps mythical) father of Taoism: how can it be true?

Is it possible to never hurry, but to get everything done?

It seems contradictory to our modern world, where everything is a rush, where we try to cram as much into every minute of the day as possible, where if we are not busy, we feel unproductive and lazy.

In fact, often we compete by trying to show how busy we are. I have a thousand projects to do! Oh yeah? I have 10,000! The winner is the person who has the most insane schedule, who rushes from one thing to the next with the energy of a hummingbird, because obviously that means he’s the most successful and important.

Right?

Maybe not. Maybe we’re playing the wrong game — we’ve been conditioned to believe that busier is better, but actually the speed of doing is not as important as what we focus on doing.

Maybe we’re going at the wrong speed. Maybe if we are constantly rushing, we will miss out on life itself. Let’s let go of the obsession with speed, and instead slow down, stop rushing, and enjoy life.

And still get everything done.

Let’s look at how.

A Change of Mindset
The most important step is a realization that life is better when you move at a slower, more relaxed pace, instead of hurrying and rushing and trying to cram too much into every day. Instead, get the most out of every moment.

Is a book better if you speed read it, or if you take your time and get lost in it?

Is a song better if you skim through it, or if you take the time to really listen?

Is food better if you cram it down your throat, or if you savor every bite and really appreciate the flavor?

Is your work better if you’re trying to do 10 things at once, or if you really pour yourself into one important task?

Is your time spent with a friend or loved one better if you have a rushed meeting interrupted by your emails and text messages, or if you can relax and really focus on the person?

Life as a whole is better if you go slowly, and take the time to savor it, appreciate every moment. That’s the simplest reason to slow down.

And so, you’ll need to change your mindset (if you’ve been stuck in a rushed mindset until now). To do this, make the simple admission that life is better when savored, that work is better with focus. Then make the commitment to give that a try, to take some of the steps below.

But I Can’t Change!
There will be some among you who will admit that it would be nice to slow down, but you just can’t do it … your job won’t allow it, or you’ll lose income if you don’t do as many projects, or living in the city makes it too difficult to go slowly. It’s a nice ideal if you’re living on a tropical island, or out in the country, or if you have a job that allows control of your schedule … but it’s not realistic for your life.

I say bullshit.

Take responsibility for your life. If your job forces you to rush, take control of it. Make changes in what you do, in how you work. Work with your boss to make changes if necessary. And if really necessary, you can eventually change jobs. You are responsible for your life.

If you live in a city where everyone rushes, realize that you don’t have to be like everyone else. You can be different. You can walk instead of driving in rush hour traffic. You can have fewer meetings. You can work on fewer but more important things. You can be on your iPhone or Blackberry less, and be disconnected sometimes. Your environment doesn’t control your life — you do.

I’m not going to tell you how to take responsibility for your life, but once you make the decision, thehow will become apparent over time.

Tips for a Slower-Paced Life
I can’t give you a step-by-step guide to moving slower, but here are some things to consider and perhaps adopt, if they work for your life. Some things might require you to change some major things, but they can be done over time.

1. Do less. Cut back on your projects, on your task list, on how much you try to do each day. Focus not on quantity but quality. Pick 2-3 important things — or even just one important thing — and work on those first. Save smaller, routine tasks for later in the day, but give yourself time to focus. Read more.
2. Have fewer meetings. Meetings are usually a big waste of time. And they eat into your day, forcing you to squeeze the things you really need to do into small windows, and making you rush. Try to have blocks of time with no interruptions, so you don’t have to rush from one meeting to another.
3. Practice disconnecting. Have times when you turn off your devices and your email notifications and whatnot. Time with no phone calls, when you’re just creating, or when you’re just spending time with someone, or just reading a book, or just taking a walk, or just eating mindfully. You can even disconnect for (gasp!) an entire day, and you won’t be hurt. I promise.
4. Give yourself time to get ready and get there. If you’re constantly rushing to appointments or other places you have to be, it’s because you don’t allot enough time in your schedule for preparing and for traveling. Pad your schedule to allow time for this stuff. If you think it only takes you 10 minutes to get ready for work or a date, perhaps give yourself 30-45 minutes so you don’t have to shave in a rush or put on makeup in the car. If you think you can get there in 10 minutes, perhaps give yourself 2-3 times that amount so you can go at a leisurely pace and maybe even get there early.
5. Practice being comfortable with sitting, doing nothing. One thing I’ve noticed is that when people have to wait, they become impatient or uncomfortable. They want their mobile device or at least a magazine, because standing and waiting is either a waste of time or something they’re not used to doing without feeling self-conscious. Instead, try just sitting there, looking around, soaking in your surroundings. Try standing in line and just watching and listening to people around you. It takes practice, but after awhile, you’ll do it with a smile.
6. Realize that if it doesn’t get done, that’s OK. There’s always tomorrow. And yes, I know that’s a frustrating attitude for some of you who don’t like laziness or procrastination or living without firm deadlines, but it’s also reality. The world likely won’t end if you don’t get that task done today. Your boss might get mad, but the company won’t collapse and the life will inevitably go on. And the things that need to get done will.
7. Start to eliminate the unnecessary. When you do the important things with focus, without rush, there will be things that get pushed back, that don’t get done. And you need to ask yourself: how necessary are these things? What would happen if I stopped doing them? How can I eliminate them, delegate them, automate them?
8. Practice mindfulness. Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you’re with someone, be with them fully. When you’re walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are.Read this for more, and also try The Mindfulist.
9. Slowly eliminate commitments. We’re overcommitted, which is why we’re rushing around so much. I don’t just mean with work — projects and meetings and the like. Parents have tons of things to do with and for their kids, and we overcommit our kids as well. Many of us have busy social lives, or civic commitments, or are coaching or playing on sports teams. We have classes and groups and hobbies. But in trying to cram so much into our lives, we’re actually deteriorating the quality of those lives. Slowly eliminate commitments — pick 4-5 essential ones, and realize that the rest, while nice or important, just don’t fit right now. Politely inform people, over time, that you don’t have time to stick to those commitments.

Try these things out. Life is better when unrushed. And given the fleeting nature of this life, why waste even a moment by rushing through it?

Remember the quote above: if nature can get everything done without rushing, so can you.